22.2.09

Little Cream Soda

I JUST SPIN IN CIRCLES. I just spin in circles. All my goddamn revilations are meaninless because they don't push me forward. They don't push me forward. i'm still here. Things aren't going to chance. Same as it ever was as david Byrn would say. SAME AS IT EVER WAS. Ahhhh. I only like people when their down. When their more then down. Because a lot of people can be down in a self indulgent way. the fishing for compliments kind of low self esteem. No I'm talking about broken down. Break down to build up. when people are broken they have something else. a kind of humility thats amazing. aA kind of serenderance. Its all truthfull and all. I don't know. Adrian shows it better. I fuckin love adrian. hes the best guy I know. By a good goddamn margin too. Break down to build up. I haven't hit bottom yet but you can bet your ass I'm trying. No, I'm not trying. I want to go back up. but I'm heading twoards the bottom anyway. No I'm not. I just go in circles. I just go in circles in circles in circles all the goddamn time. I'm here again. same as it ever was. I don't know. thats all I goddamn know. I don't know I don't know. I'm done . I'm done. I'm done. I've got this ideal inside of me and we're all just noting at all.

but with every chance to set himself on fire he just ends up doing the same thing

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