Darts of Plesure

hmm, I don't even care for Firefly all that much, or well, its intreeging but I've only watched about two epesodes and don't care to watch any tv at all right now, but... the theme song for the show is much much better then it has any right to be.

Take my love, take my land
Take me where I cannot stand
I don't care, I'm still free
You can't take the sky from me

Take me out to the black
Tell them I ain't comin' back
Burn the land and boil the sea
You can't take the sky from me

There's no place I can be
Since I found serenity
But you can't take the sky from me.

Jackie used to say her favorite word, I think, was euphoria. I told her mine is serenity. And I thought, all I want in life is serenity. just to be ok with it. and, of course, I don't want that anymore, I want passion. And I guess when it comes down to it all I have is passion, I have no serenity.

Parker was here two weeks ago. We spent a weekend just talking and playing guitar and seeing concerts. It was more or less surreal and amazing. what we talked about mostly was ourselves. music, and culture, and people and girls and ourselves. And when it came down to it... look, we're assholes. the think I remeber the sharpest is when parker said "Its really just because we think we're better then everyone. We do think we're better than everyone. We think our ideas are better, we think how we live our lives are better..." and he's right. we do. We are assholes.

I am an asshole. I will always hate the people around me because... because they like mcdonalds, or because they don't know what fallafel is, or because they listen to kings of leon or becase they like the shins but for the wrong reasons. I hate people because they wait at crosswalks or becasue they won't go into public parks after night or becasue they wear nice clothes or because they don't know who sonic youth is, or even because they know who sonic youth is and think thats a big accomplishment. I AM SUCH AN ASSHOLE. I just smile and lie to all these people and more.

And besides for that I am self obsessed. to the point of narssesism. All I think about is my self and where I got it right and where I am an asshole. all I think about is who I am. All my film ideas are about the person I want to become, which is just a way of making films about an idealized version of my self. all I think about is myself.

In the documentry Helvetica theres two main points of view expressed about use of the font. The modernists of the fiftys and sixties thought it was neutral and clear and beautiful. They used it for everything. The eightys and ninetys thought it was bland and meaningless and a corprate simbol. That you needed expressive fonts to say expressive things. The modernests thought these people were just making the world less beautiful. The later artists didn't think aestetic beauty was the end all.

in one of the end scenes they showed a verry resent young artist who used helvetica a lot. he didn't know or care about the debate around it. He wasn't concerned so much about the philosophy of aestetics over all or nihilism over all. He just made good art that he liked. We are the younger generation who grew up fast and our ignorance is setting us free. its alowing us to do the best work.

another case is with political corectness. Two generations ago they are/were verry politicaly incorect. They were racist and sexist and hit their kids in school and all sorts of other things. The generation above us changed the cuture and made a point to be verry politicaly correct (they invented the term). They didn't use red pens in school, they tiptoed around words, they said African American, and all sorts of other horrible things. Our generation is breaking down pollitical correct, but we're not snaping back to our grandparents. We just say what makes sence. No bullshit. We use helvetica to say sunshine.

words are poison