Travel Song

what a few days. goddamn. I want to write that post on talent, I've been meaning too for, what, three weeks? something like that. It's not in me today thought. insomnia is killing me but its a great creative tool i think. I wish I could play guitar now, the whole complex would probably yell at me though.  what am I saying? what am I trying to say? I think I'm having a breakdown but oddly. stop-start. mostly in the mornings. well the afternoons. I don't even know mornings anymore. the evenings and even through the late nights I'm together.and its slow or not slow but continueous. three weeks I think since my stolen spot and the nine i hate everything days with adrian. I hate how fragile I have become as if anything can tip me over into this altered state where my mind is not my own of depression anger dread stress and withdrawl. FUCK. was this a mistake? I mean. Why am I here? would I be breaking down in california? my mom says I would be. and what happons when I have broken down copleatly? shoudln't I gain acceptance? bottom out like I hope? or will I continue to break apart at the begining of all my days 

we're just held together by calenders and sex


Fiery Crash

Stayed up all last night for the third time in two weeks, and thats after going almost a year without. This insomnia is killing me. I know its as a result of my stress but its quickly becoming the main artical of it. anyway at 4:30 in the morning when it became clear that I wasn't going to be able to get any sleep I was full of all sorts of goddamn angst. I have a couple ways to deal with that. One is talking to someone but everyone on both sides of the country was asleep or going to be real soon. Another is playing guitar real loud but the rest of the apartment complex wouldn't apreciate it. The third is, you guessed it, a mix tape. Didn't take the nessesary steps when making it because I didn't give a damn at that point so there are some volume issues, but it meant it took me half the time to make the tape. Used three tracks from daytrotter because its now my primary sourse of new music in my curent personal finacial crysis. I then recorded it from the cassette onto the computer. So, for anyone interested:

Side B

(1pm: my fucking stereo recever broke. Compleatly. Six hundred fucking dollars down the drain there. Fuck this day)

Mix 3/10/09

Side A
2:45am - Elliott Smith
World At Large - Modest Mouse
Fiery Crash - Andrew Bird
Searching for Mr. Right - Young Marble Giants
Activa - Deerhunter
Laughing - R.E.M.
Just Like Honey - The Jesus and Mary Chain

Side B
(She's in a) Bad Mood - Sonic Youth
Dub Housing - Pere Ubu
The Sound of Settling - Death Cab For Cutie
Only One Who Knows - Arctic Monkeys
Where is My Mind? - Pixies
Sludgefest - Dinosaur Jr.
Fucked For Life - Dirty Projectors
Turn On Me - The Shins

something apropos, I don't know