Iron Galaxy

so theres this thing called 30 days of music and I'm sure you've herd about it and though I don't know where it started I think I first herd about it through Kieron Gillen (just like everything else, the guy's half my mentor we've never met) and then trough the blogs of a couple of my freinds and my god I follow too many blogs at this point and I miss the time when it was just me jackie adrian parker and then travis. anyway. as my friends post I think about what my responce would be, I would post it myself but it would be one more thing for me to silently obsses over and it would end up being another incedibly self absorbed and self indulgent thing to add to my long list of self absorbed and self indulgent things that I already do including - hey! - this blog. day 15 I think was a song that describes you and I thought when it turned up, shit, no way. ran through a hundred songs in my head, I guess I don't listen to to many songs that describe people in the first place, or not many that describes guys. and I thought maybe the only living boy in new york to be compleatly romantic and self indulgent the matt sheehy cover in particular maybe (here) but no that sucks. and I couldn't think of anything else we are beautiful we are doomed, no rain, loser, abel, these kinds of things. and today I was thinking about the boxer, another simon and garfunkle song, because my mom mentined it while we were tlaking about the national and their album boxer. and I thought, the boxer.

the boxer was this song that followed me in a weird way when I was a kid, in that I had a strong affinity for it, a strong affinity but I didn't know what it was. and occationaly someone would hum it or it would come up on the radio and I would jump out and catch them and get them to tell me what the song was because for some reason this song remided me of when I was little (littler, I guess). and I would try to hold that in my mind, hold "the boxer by simon and garfunkle" but for some reason it never worked. between the ages of five and - probably - twelve i was curiously inable to remember the title of this song. between the ages of five and twelve I somewhat unknowingly chased this song. and, very unknowingly, in more than one way. you see, this song described me. or described what I thought I was, but probably was not. the quiet lost boy from new york who tryed to be stoic but had the scars from every thing he'd lost and was leaving now himself. thats who I wanted to be or thought I was. It takes a five year old of a weird demeanor to think that he's lost something significant and sad in that kind of way, I was weird.

and though I feel my personality pulled in a million differant directions these days thats still what I think of as the old stuart, the stuart I was at five. small, quite, honest, kind, fair, and stoic and intelligent. sad and lonely and trying to be strong. with a scar across his left eye. wishing he could go back to new york.

I am not the boxer anymore, nor do I want to be, at least not compleatly. now I'm trying to be a dosen other songs now I hope I am to angry to be sad in that way, to miss the past when I was 3. now I don't listen to the boxer.

new york is evil at its core