Pillars Were Hollow and Filled With Candy So We Tore Them Down

before I wrote the note to jackie on the back of that photograph I decided to burn the edges. I think I know why. I had accedentaly caught a napkin on fire from the stove earlyer and the idea of the fire so suddenly jumping from something as contained as the stove to a fire that is wild and threatened to burn my hand was nice. but as I went to burn the edge and it caught fire I suddenly didn't want to put it out. I had a quick flash in my mind of the great photograph fire and then of sending jackie a burnt stub of a picture with here adress and the word smile writen a million times on what was left of the back. actualy I still like that idea. maybe i'll do it a bit later to surprise jackie or someone else. but why did I have that urge so suddenly one might ask. someone else might ask why didn't I do it. I know the answer to the second one. it was because unfortunitly my base urges are always twards the sensible not the extreem and in moments of stress I tend to snap back to them. secondly it was because that picture I love and wanted to share with jackie and didn't want to have to go and pay to get reprinted. but I think it would have been a beautiful beautiful distruction.

fins to make us fish-like


Falling Through Your Clothes

I kinda love the world right now. Not that I'm having a particularly great time in it but I look outside and see all the great times there is to have. Does that make any sence? I spend time at MOMA and I'm so amazed. I've never been all that psyched about visual arts befroe but every peice in there is so full of life and something so wild and they blow your mind. And I walk down the street in SoHo or union square and see the street venders selling art thats like nothing you ever seen and I think there are all these geniouses walking around me. I've been taking lots of photographs, I wish I could show them to you but I have no scaner but they are all beutiful. Can I be that good of a photographer? I don't think so. In fact most of the pictures come out not at all what I intended. How did that get on the film? So this tells me that it must not be me whos seeking out and finding the beuty, it must be the world around me that is beutiful so anywhere I point the camera it will land on something great. I'm still loanly, I still wish I was back with you guys sometimes, I go to shows by my self and try to talk to people it seems I have nothing in common with. I lost my job yesterday and it seems like I'm back to square one. But through all that the world outside is great, the city is great, and all I want is to be surrounded by art forever.

run run run deep breath then jump