Comfy in Nautica

So I was thinking of Patti Smith and REM wile I was playing guitar to do some spoken words over heavy noise guitar. So I sat down and wrote some unfinished lyrics. I varry between thinking its good and its crap but I'm gonna put it here anyway.

Burt out light bulbs make a clear statement
The make it hard to read
Hell is all things static
Hell is everything I see
A hundred piles of broken CDs
Is enough to just disurage me
Hell is the notion that nothing around me is clean
The light shining off a ball point pen
Lapses into chaos for just one second and only in my mind
Six thoulsand wheels turning in circles
Can't really give me back my time
Hell is enthropy
Every time my heart beats it gives energy
Its gonna stop eventualy
Its hating music that you like music
Its hating everything about you
Freedom in everything you hate
Its the stifiling fear that one day I will slow down
I hope you never turn around
Hell is all things dynamic
The must be at least sixteen things pulsating around in me
A dog walk
A cherry bomb
Lether bound book
A warm day
Scotch tape
A split tung
gamma ray
A broken sign they took down so it doesn't swing anymore
I hope you never want more
Because I hope you never get more
Your ideas fit around you like a warm sock
Your made up preafrances
Hell is everying I haven't made
Hell is everyone I have ever talked to

just to have a good time

The Sprawl

Do you ever get one of thouse what am I doing here moments? Like I look back on what I was a year ago or two years ago and I think how did I get from there to here? I want to go back sometimes. I don't know anymore. I want to go traviling. Just see america on train and hitchiking and couch surfing. Taking with me one guitar two changes of close and a book or two. I want to do this more than anything. But I couldn't do it alone. And thats the goddamn problem. Who of my friends would go along? It would have to be Jackie or Adrian I guess, everyone else I couldn't stand after so long. I guess Aidan or Chris Jones would be Ok but I couldn't talk any of these people into comming. Fuck practicality. If we couch surfed and hitchhicked the only monney we would need would be for food, and I can always busk. Food is cheap. This is what I've been thinking about. This is what I want to do. I hate the goddamn cold. I never understood all the metephors about winter until now. It stifles everything. Its like the world lays down until spring. I need spring.

does this sound simple? fuck you

Majesty

The Music Tapes sound just like happiness in a way not even the beach boys could pull off.


The first 90 min tape I have succeeded in making for myself
Mix 1/11/09

Side A
Let the Serpents Leave - Elf Power
Squalor Victoria - The National
Favorite Thing - The Replacements
The Opera House - The Olivia Tremor Control
Weird Fishes/Arpeggi - Radiohead
A Different City - Modest Mouse
A Fever Analog - Owen
Teenage Riot - Sonic Youth
Sometimes a Pony Gets Depressed - Silver Jews
Three Peaches - Neutral Milk Hotel
When You Were Young - The Killers
From the Ritz to the Rubble - Arctic Monkeys
Mr. Tambourine Man - The Byrds

Side B
Someday Baby - Bob Dylan
Sister Ray - Velvet Underground
For What Reason - Death Cab for Cutie
Flicking Clint - Velvet Teen
Never Stops - Dearhunter
Rudie Can't Fail - The Clash
Soul of a Man - Beck
Ripped Knees - No Age
Majesty - The Music Tapes
Gone For Good (Alt Version) - The Shins

a revelution of the day

Naomi

For the last year and three days I've been keeping this method of bloging consistand. the title is after a song that in someway reflects how I'm feeling or intentionaly reflects something against how I'm feeling. The song goes in the playlist to the right or if the song couldn't be found then a simalar one by the same band and a lyric goes in the afterthought at the bottom. It was inteded that the song play wile you read the post of the same name, though in practice I never found that act worthwile. I thried to keep the layout verry simple as to sugest black vinyl. The blog title was, obviously, to designate that you were experiencing a long playing record being read off a turntable buit it also came over time to represent to me my tendancy to adress the same problems over and over always returning. The only thing that strikes me as wrong is my insistance of using a different band each post. This was just me trying to show off and its going to stop here. The entire format has come to irritate me a bit but I think it holds thoughts togeather nicely and keeps me from posting irrelivents or one liners to a certain extend. It also saves me from having to come up with titles for each post witch I would hate. But from here on the song I choose will have no restraint even if I have used that band fifty times before.

I know that paragraph wasn't verry interesting but it gets better from here bare with me.

The name of this post is Naomi and the song Naomi is the song for this moment. Its embarasing to me how much Neutral Milk Hotel has had an effect on me over the last couple months. When I thought about why I feel -embarassed I realize its because of how much other people like them. Be more specific. Because of how much Parker likes them. I just keep seeing his face on that day in my garage. He saw the album cover there and he probably said one of his intentional slang words or said something sexual in his excitement about me owning this album. This thought taints my enjoyment of this album and I feel horrible for that. It doesn't feel right that my friends love of a band should make me feel embarassed about it. The other reason is that the band has become far to linked with Simka. That same day she stumbled in my garage and fell to the floor and asked for a pen because she needed to write down the name of this beaustiful music that was playing. We talk about it a lot. Oh Comely sits in my head as the beging of our relationship though we were never really in a relationship and Naomi is the end. Played off a disk she bought for me three months ago but I was only able to play it starting last week, its sentimental and its sweet and it makes me home sick and I resent Simka's assosiation in my mind with it. If you can I beg you to listen to it now in the playlist and you might see what I mean.

The third topic I want to discuss is homesickness. First the blog nhen Neutral Milk Hotel and now homesickness. I apologise for the lenth of this. I don't meand homesickness for albany. Right now I feel little sentimental attachment to that town or that house. Neither of thouse even seem quite real, I had caught a high fevor and dreamed it in the fog. This feeling is more then that I was seven, living in ous second house in California when I lied down in the center of the hallway outside the computer room where my dad ws working and started crying. They couldn't get me to move. I said I wanted to go home. My dad said I was home. I had been living there for more then a year which was an eternity for a seven yar old and it did feel like home but that wasn't it. I thought I was weeping for the house in New Jersey but I wasn't. I have that same yerning now sometimes. Because there isn't a place that is home its just a feeling that we sometimes atach to a place. Its that feeling I wept for. I will never have that feeling again. Maybe I knew that when I was seven and so I cryed. It will never ever ever be better then this. It will never ever ever be better then this.

always a wrench I have become, so empty

405

do i have something to say about the last year? maybe i do somewhere. i forget. i'll try though: its over. it was interesting. we got through it. its over.

was it a good year? i don't know. i cant think about it like that yet. give me a few months for me to invent some fiction about the whole thing and then i can tell you. why do we even group things into years. it s to big to think about. what was my favorite album i listened to last febuary? i dont remember. what was i doing all october? i dont know. somehow maybe all unrelated to this i feel like such an ideot right now. i dont know

and swore that its never ever been better than this

Godless

In1927 Joan Miro was quoted saying "I want to assassinate painting"

as thoughtless as you were back then

333

New song, just the first verce and chorus are done, though.

I
I can never live again
I could never see the end

I
I could build myself anew
I could live my whole life through
without going back to you

If I could find a place where I can breath
its getting out of hand
I'd take and tell you all you mean

and I
could never say whats in you
even when its all that I see

I took the greed out of my grin/and sunk my teath into my work instead