A Fever Analog

I way to shaken by the silver jews spliting up. A band I got into about a month ago because I had herd the name spoken with prase and saw a cd of theirs on the shelf at the library and thought why not? Two weeks later they anounse their retirement from music and on the last day of january they played their last show. And somehow I'm devestated. Its all I've thought about for two days. The silver jews split up, man. They will never make more music. Or if they do its going to be the standard reunion crap. the standard reunion crap. Its never going to be the same. the silver jews split up. the guys a goddamn poet, not like issac brock or bob dylan but like poet poet. like I could imagine him on papper blowing my mind and hes done. heeeeeessssssssssssssssssssss doooooooooooooonnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnne

if the room started spining. I'd leave

Shaking Hell

I only get nihilistic fits of rage when I'm alone. the surpressed passionate fury against everything I think and see and taste and am and know that I'm often trying to convay here. to be fare though I only get the passionate feeling of love for art and longing for all I see and taste and hear and am when I'm alone aswell. I used to consider this the real me, more intrisic to who I am then my lighter persona around other people, and I used to be almost mad at myself, thinking me a coward for not showing it around others. no, its not the real me, fuck that. I mean it is but how I act around you is too to the same level. being nihilistic around other people is self indulgent and cheep and not asimaler to someone who always has low self asteem around others. anyway friends keep distracted delving into the conversation or having fun and whats wrong with that? I can feel the passion in either direction on this blog but when I interact, talking to you is more important then the feelings I have about everything. I'm toned down because your awesome and I like you.

come closer and I'll tell you

There is a Place

its weird talking to friends from the theater or midrasha cliques at home. I'm still frends with them and in many ways how we talk and how we think of each other on a personal level are the same. But the group is gone. Its splintered and its rotted away. where there once was this joy in the group being together there is nothing. Theres been some kind of integral change in the way we look at each other, we've become on a close level astranged. Everyone always seems sort of tired. I think of people at high school reunions seeing old friends that they still feel afection for but just don't have anything to say to them. We're reaching that point and I'm the only one gone.

I saw gods shadow on this world
I saw god's shadow on this world!

N.I.T.A.

I seem to have found my lyrics once more. I shall now chain them up so they never escape again.


I get distracted again
I let myself distracted again
I let myself slip off once again
I'll never do it again

You start to trying I know
You can't stop dieing I know
You don't stop facing it and placing it outside
You'll never

And I want
The silver slips that take all you
Apart
The festival the liquor and the
Darts
You come tell me when it starts to fall
Apart

You can't love me and give that complaint
Stark naked and god I need restraint
It isn't all for nothing
It isn't all for nothing! O!

And I'll wait for you to call out
This time I've just a couple doubts on you
I wait for you to answer to my calls
This isn't all
Is this all?


nature intended the abstract for you and me

Comfy in Nautica

So I was thinking of Patti Smith and REM wile I was playing guitar to do some spoken words over heavy noise guitar. So I sat down and wrote some unfinished lyrics. I varry between thinking its good and its crap but I'm gonna put it here anyway.

Burt out light bulbs make a clear statement
The make it hard to read
Hell is all things static
Hell is everything I see
A hundred piles of broken CDs
Is enough to just disurage me
Hell is the notion that nothing around me is clean
The light shining off a ball point pen
Lapses into chaos for just one second and only in my mind
Six thoulsand wheels turning in circles
Can't really give me back my time
Hell is enthropy
Every time my heart beats it gives energy
Its gonna stop eventualy
Its hating music that you like music
Its hating everything about you
Freedom in everything you hate
Its the stifiling fear that one day I will slow down
I hope you never turn around
Hell is all things dynamic
The must be at least sixteen things pulsating around in me
A dog walk
A cherry bomb
Lether bound book
A warm day
Scotch tape
A split tung
gamma ray
A broken sign they took down so it doesn't swing anymore
I hope you never want more
Because I hope you never get more
Your ideas fit around you like a warm sock
Your made up preafrances
Hell is everying I haven't made
Hell is everyone I have ever talked to

just to have a good time

The Sprawl

Do you ever get one of thouse what am I doing here moments? Like I look back on what I was a year ago or two years ago and I think how did I get from there to here? I want to go back sometimes. I don't know anymore. I want to go traviling. Just see america on train and hitchiking and couch surfing. Taking with me one guitar two changes of close and a book or two. I want to do this more than anything. But I couldn't do it alone. And thats the goddamn problem. Who of my friends would go along? It would have to be Jackie or Adrian I guess, everyone else I couldn't stand after so long. I guess Aidan or Chris Jones would be Ok but I couldn't talk any of these people into comming. Fuck practicality. If we couch surfed and hitchhicked the only monney we would need would be for food, and I can always busk. Food is cheap. This is what I've been thinking about. This is what I want to do. I hate the goddamn cold. I never understood all the metephors about winter until now. It stifles everything. Its like the world lays down until spring. I need spring.

does this sound simple? fuck you

Majesty

The Music Tapes sound just like happiness in a way not even the beach boys could pull off.


The first 90 min tape I have succeeded in making for myself
Mix 1/11/09

Side A
Let the Serpents Leave - Elf Power
Squalor Victoria - The National
Favorite Thing - The Replacements
The Opera House - The Olivia Tremor Control
Weird Fishes/Arpeggi - Radiohead
A Different City - Modest Mouse
A Fever Analog - Owen
Teenage Riot - Sonic Youth
Sometimes a Pony Gets Depressed - Silver Jews
Three Peaches - Neutral Milk Hotel
When You Were Young - The Killers
From the Ritz to the Rubble - Arctic Monkeys
Mr. Tambourine Man - The Byrds

Side B
Someday Baby - Bob Dylan
Sister Ray - Velvet Underground
For What Reason - Death Cab for Cutie
Flicking Clint - Velvet Teen
Never Stops - Dearhunter
Rudie Can't Fail - The Clash
Soul of a Man - Beck
Ripped Knees - No Age
Majesty - The Music Tapes
Gone For Good (Alt Version) - The Shins

a revelution of the day