Teen Creeps

ok so i looked back at all my blog posts and it scares me because so much of what i say is total crap and i know its crap now but then i said it with such seriousness not because i was stupid but because i was ignorant there was no way i could have known back then what i know now so thats ok but it really tares me up because how much of what i wright and what i think and what i say is bull shit that i just dont know enough to realize and i think it must be that way because it was that way it has been for every other period in my life in january i had a thought that i was in a good place that i was relatively sane that i had it together but i was wrong i was was an idiot. I had that same thought this week but I'm wrong.

wash away what we create

Everyone is My Friend

Right now I don't feel much like blogging. I've been thinking a lot about a lot of things but its just always looks terrible when I put them down here. The words never say what I want them to. So call me. 316-4730 any time, especially late at night. I'd love to tell you what I'm thinking or listen to what your thinking, or just shoot the shit for a while.

may we all make it home safely

The Aeroplane Over The Sea

Adrian seems to think his blog is terrible. He looks at mine and at Travis' and at whoever elses and he thinks we have more insight because our posts are a bit more straight froward, a bit more abstract, and a bit more consistent. He thinks that this makes ours better. Hes wrong. We have a thought and we make a mental note to write a blog post about it and later we do. He has a thought and makes a mental not to write a blog post about it and he gos and writes a post about something basically different. He wrights as he thinks it. And though he has self pity similar to me he is less removed from it. You can hear the genuine angst and confusion, more honestly in every post then anything on my page. Its easily the best blog I've ever read. Keep writing.

there is music that sounds from the streets

Skunk

I am a nihilist. You are too. In a very real sense we believe in nothing. Nietzsche said that god is dead in that its no longer possible for us to believe in him. And its not. You say you have a philosophy or your spiritual or you believe in something more but in the middle of the day you believe in what you see. I know theres nothing more than what I see.

No future
I believe in nothing but its my nothing
I've got no ideal inside of me, in fact there's nothing at all

goin a little crazy

Somedays

some days. I have no vice but if I feel like I need one right now. And I'm not happy, more than usual at least. And all I do is think about that when I'm with friends. Because they're unhappy too. And I don't want to walk around with them I just want to sit down and talk but when we do I just want to move. Or I just want to go home. And they're being an ass and I'm annoyed at them and I'm sure they're annoyed with me because I'm being an ass and I want to be alone but when I am I realize its the worse. And everyone feels this way too. And everyone feels this way.

well my ex says I'm laking in depth
but I will do my best

One Armed Scissor

I love punk rock and hardcore. The energy the anger the minimalism. And there are a lot of incredible bands. Sex Pistols, Clash, Minor Threat, Gun Club. I can't get enough. But for every bit of fidelity theres a gallon of sludge. People attracted to the noise, the image, the anger, but without the purpose. Punk is not a way of dressing, its not an excuse for drugs and sex, its not a way of hating everyone else. Its music, and I wish you would shut up.

yes this is the campaign

Haiti

Two people resently told me they didn't want to hang out with me because I'm moving to new york in september. What? They think that I'm gonna ruin my life, that I'm going to be back in albany in a couple months dirt broke. I guess they may be right. But I doubt it. But even if they were right, that doen't justify thinking less of me, yelling at me when the subject comes up. What kind of friends are they, who can't get past the mistake they think I'm making. The truth is, come september things will never be the same. They won't get to hang out with me weather they want to or not, so why waist the time we have.

guns can't kill what soldiers can't see