10 A.M. Automatic

I know I shouldn't like Oasis. Its one of those bands that chris jones would give me a look for. And I see from the indie pop kids point of view that why would you need the distorted shoegaze soundscape, it just covers up the emotions. And the rock point of view that there are more straight forward ways of getting your point across. And I see the punk point of view that the world is a very real place and your blind optimism and escapism, not to mention your poppy melodies, is irritating at best. Disgusting at worst. But I also I see the anger the fight. We are young and we don't have to do what you say. We' see the things they'll never see. Because you and I we're gonna live forever.

What about the night makes you change

Mind's Eye

Its crazy to think that I want to be depressed. And when I'm happy I'll swear to god that happy is the only way to be but when I'm down I don't see how I could be up. Because I know that my happiness is just increased avoidence. That to be up is just to keep busy and keep my mind on other things. And wile I enjoy it more I know its just deceiving myself. And that wile I'm killing myself when I'm depressed I see clearly and I know the truth and maybe that is more important.

I can see forever

Chemical World

Never read an entire book in one night. I have this tendency to do it often, usually about once a month. All it takes is a small burst of insomnia and a really really good book. Most recently, the night of memorial day, it was Phonogram, a comic book, maybe 200 pages, a one hour read if you take your time. It took me three hours, I slaved over every word. Its not a depressing book. Angry? yes. Obsessive? possibly. but not depressed. I've read it twice since. And somehow last tuesday I was off my up swing, angry, bordering on rage even, bitter, sarcastic, brooding, down. Insomnia. 'How come I end up where I started?' a radiohead lyric.

in a chemical world
its very very very cheap

Swords of Truth

An old guidance councilor trick is to ask "if you had a billion dollars, what would you do with your life". And your supposed to say "I would be a doctor", or "I would build skyscrapers." I would buy stuff. First music. Everything. I would own more than amoeba records and spend all day listening. Then movies and spend all day watching. And I'd buy a library and all day reading. I'd build a sound proof studio and spend all day making music. I'd spend my mornings in cafes, my nights at concerts, and my days with friends. And I'd never never work.

I'm writing on airwaves, I'm writing on the air, I'm writing on your memory

Archive of Pain

I have nothing but empathy. And in the day light I see you or anyone and thats my sister (brother, whatever) and shes the man. And did you know if she had to she would go to hell for you. And shes in this life alone where noones giving her a break and she thinks no one understands. But I understand and I may not know you but your my friend and I love you. But come night I see you and I know you. And you think no one understands but I understand you. And I know that you would fuck me over if you had the chance. And I see you lie and I see you cheat and I see you play your friends for nothing and I get you. And I hate you and I hate everything you stand for. Everything you've ever touched. And as you reflect on me I hate me.
But I guess I feel that way about everyone.

nail it to the house of lords
you will be buried in the same box as a killer

Reverend Black Grape

Tonight I will wright a good blog post that I have been seriously meaning to wright since sunday but have been to lazy to do so and don't have the time to do it now. So I'm just putting this up as a reminder.

kill the message
can I get a witness?

Hello

No one here gets out alive/and i don't mean you die but you die or you might as well/your john lennon/with the bullet or your paul mccartney with memory almost full/your sid vicious whos heart stopped or your johnny rotten whos anger stoped because everything kills you/everything you see will either crush your lungs or crush your spirit and leave you a shadow/and the only ones who are remembered as living are the ones in the grave/and is that best?/jim morreson only made it 27 years

we live in the shadow and we had the chance and threw it away
and its never gonna be the same