When we used to have to run the mile I used to think damn I wish I was me an hour from now. I will no longer be sweaty and tired and, most importantly, I will no longer be running and I will not have a mile left to do infront of me. I will be done with the work and able to reap the benefit. And you know what? Theres so much we do for Stuart an hour from now, or ourselves next year or in the vauge fucking future and now I thinking Fuck stuart of the future. That jackass benefiting off of my work. Fuck you Stuart looking back on this a year from now thinking how far you've come from this point. How stupid, how imature, stuart of fall 2009 is. Fuck you. You're not even me anymore, your someone else, someone I can't predict.
And I think how much stuart of winter 2008 was and idiot, and I think of how stuart of summer 2001 would hate me and be ashamed of his association if we ever met, and I guess I don't care. They don't exist any more.
This heart ache is worse then I though it would be. Its been four weeks. I should be over this. I Need to be over this. I don't want to feel this way any longer.
make a new cult every day to suit your affairs
1 day ago