I am a man of Apollo. I've always taken pride in that but its not something I created. Its my base instinct. Its what I snap back to in times of stress no matter what. My older sister is basicly of Dionysus in the same way. Thats why I have chosen the underground over the world of pop why I have chosen post-punk over new wave over metal bangers not anthems blur over oasis pulp over all. Individual over comunity. Grunge over Britpop. And all I've wanted to be for these years was an undergrond sucsess. I wanted to be Pere Ubu, not The Clash. I wanted to be The Velvet Underground, not The Rolling Stones. I wanted to be Bob Dylan, not the Beatles.
But now I want to be better then the Beatles.
Now I want to be Suede, I want to be Oasis. I want to live for today and delude myself that today is what there is. I want to love myself and the people around me because they're good enough so I'm gonna goddamn pretend we are perfect. I want to ware two thoulsand dollar suits and smash my guitar into my amp every goddamn nice. I want to take it as far as I can and make sure I end with enough money to buy a good pair of shoes for my funeral. I want music you get caught up in compleatly. I want to set fire to the graves of every band that ever played a note of progressive rock. Because this is my life man, this is MY LIFE. This is all I have. I don't get to look back after I've gone and say 'well that man did a good job of sticking to his pricipals and is a good example for the next generation'. I don't give a fuck about the next generation. If the world falls apart a year after I passed, well, its sure as hell better then it falling apart a year before I go. I want to look out across manhattan as I cross that bridge and I know that it is my kingdom. I want to fucking live forever. I want TO FUCKING LIVE FOREVER.
maybe i just want to breath maybe i just dont believe