In eighth and ninth grade I was an un ashamed rockist and retroist and somehow in the last four years I have shed that. I have shed that to the point of hating rockism and retroism. I have shed that to the point of almost being embarassed to be listeing to the white stripes because they are to a certain extent rockists. They are also retroists but not in the "it was all better then there is no hope for today" way more in the "I hate everything around me" way so thats ok. And I'm wondering how I got to this point and I think I can link the start of it to one song. Jackie used to keep it in high rotation my sophmore year its called "I wish I was a punk rocker with flowers in my hair". My least favorite song in existance. Not the worst song but my least favorite. I was emidiatly repelled by it and wasn't exactly sure why. since then I have been finding reasons, reasons that were always there I just didn't have the words to say them exactly.
The first one that hit me right away was that punk rockers did not have flowers in their hair. The ovious one. Punk rocks stated goal was to get rid of all hippie music and all hippies. Flowers were out. It was probably a good way to get your ass kicked in '77. Took another week or two before I came up with the second. Its a myth. What the song is descibing never happoned and wishing for something that never happoned seemed pretty bleak to me.
A bit of time passed between me writing the last paragraph and starting this one. Because of that I can't say I'm sure what I was planing to write next. So I'll just get to the gist of it.
A few weeks ago I saw Pete Townshend interviewed on some Who documentry. He mentioned something about haveing been young people making music for young people and how that doesn't really happon anymore or something like that. My head went imediatly to 'Shouldn't you be dead?'. In referance, of course, to one of the best lines Mr. Townshend ever wrote "I hope I die before I get old". I have found myslef incredably hostile twords anyone who looks on the past as better. And I have become almost disgusted at all things sixtys and seventys.
The first reason is this: There is some philosophy (or maybe its just in fight club?) that talks about Kill your parents, Kill your idols, Kill your teacher. They don't mean actualy kill, but instead let go of, or think of in descrase in your mind. Because as long as you hold them above you you are stifled below them. Some times I hear this with Kill your god and Kill yourself (meaning your ego) in the place of the second two but you get the point. I killed my idolization of my parents I don't know how long ago. A hundred years. I killed my god in the last year and a half as documented on this blog. And I never had a teacher or mentor to look up too. The sixtys and seventys were my idols. And I couldn't be free wile holding on to them. Why is it that Radiohead still makes good music wile Oasis hasn't since, say, 1996? Didn't the two bands form at the same time? Its because Oasis holds the mid nindys in such high regard and wants to be back there, Radiohead just wants to get to tomorrow. Oasis has that idol hovering above them. Pete Townshend has the mid sixtys.
The other stems from a line in a minor threat song. "you better be happy with what you got, you'll never get anymore." in referance to a five foot four guy who starts fights because of his insecuritys with his hight. Its something adults tell you since you were four. Funny how I never got it until I herd it from Ian McKaye's mouth. Being five foot four I'm sure sucks. I haven't measured myself in about a year but I think I clock in around 5'8" and that sucks as well. But I am going to be this way for the rest of my life so I sure as hell better start thinking its the best anyway. I will never be six feet tall. I will never spend one fucking second of my life in the sixtys. Hell, I was alive in the nindys but I will never see one second of it ever ever again. I don't really believe it was better as no one I really respect has ever said it was, but even if it was better it means fuck all and you best start believing this is the best. because there is too little fucking time to spend it worrying about missing out on the best. So I don't fucking care. This is the best time to be alive of all time. There was never a better moment in history before right this fucking second. and in a few years when we rule the world its going to be even better.
you think i love you but it aint true
6 days ago