the boxer was this song that followed me in a weird way when I was a kid, in that I had a strong affinity for it, a strong affinity but I didn't know what it was. and occationaly someone would hum it or it would come up on the radio and I would jump out and catch them and get them to tell me what the song was because for some reason this song remided me of when I was little (littler, I guess). and I would try to hold that in my mind, hold "the boxer by simon and garfunkle" but for some reason it never worked. between the ages of five and - probably - twelve i was curiously inable to remember the title of this song. between the ages of five and twelve I somewhat unknowingly chased this song. and, very unknowingly, in more than one way. you see, this song described me. or described what I thought I was, but probably was not. the quiet lost boy from new york who tryed to be stoic but had the scars from every thing he'd lost and was leaving now himself. thats who I wanted to be or thought I was. It takes a five year old of a weird demeanor to think that he's lost something significant and sad in that kind of way, I was weird.
and though I feel my personality pulled in a million differant directions these days thats still what I think of as the old stuart, the stuart I was at five. small, quite, honest, kind, fair, and stoic and intelligent. sad and lonely and trying to be strong. with a scar across his left eye. wishing he could go back to new york.
I am not the boxer anymore, nor do I want to be, at least not compleatly. now I'm trying to be a dosen other songs now I hope I am to angry to be sad in that way, to miss the past when I was 3. now I don't listen to the boxer.
new york is evil at its core