you see, it wasn't working for me. it wasn't. though I quite enjoy it, it just doesn't effect me the way it seems to do for the people who can function with it. I like movies less high, I like music less high. I Like Music Less high. thats something. on top of that it gives me heavy lithargic hangovers and made it harder to concentrait in my sober life, made me less productive, less ambitious, more content. the worst think is it seems to have stifled my emotions. I don't go crazy when I'm somking even semi regularly. I need to go crazy. I need to feel.
All this is not the point though, because you can't say pot is a bad thing. so many people I know, primary of which is Jackie and Mike Martinez, smoke every day as much as they can and don't suffer from ANY of this. any of it. in fact they like everything more when their high, they can function, they can feel, they can pay attention.
so many people I know hate pot because they don't believe this. They think jackie or mike are lying, that pot always has these heavy negative side effects.
so many stoners I know hate these straight laced people, they think pot is harmless and largly without these bad results.
and it all comes from the assumption that how it affects me is how it will effect other people. HOW THEIR MIND WORKS IS THE SAME AS HOW MY MIND WORKS. how it affects me is exactly how it effects everyone.
I can think of no line of thinking that has caused more resentment or wrongdoing. I used to hate other kids becasue my mind worked in straight lines and easy logic and it was so easy I didn't understand why theres didn't aswel. other kids used to hate and look down on me because they didn't understand why I couldn't write, why I had trouble making fucking marks on paper. cultures clash because we have different deffinitons of good and bad, of scary and calm, of what good tasting food is we think "thats oviously bad to me so it must be oviously bad to everyone, why do these people like such bad things?"
we are much less alike than we think we are. we are all at a base level seperait. WE ARE NOT THE SAME you and i. basically alone. and if we realize that we will be able to better come together.
not forever but for now