I've been getting a lot of shit for my music recently and its getting to me. mostly because one of the big things I was looking forward to with being home for the summer was not having to hide my music, being able to play it loud and talk about it with out compromise. aloud to be passionate about what I'm passionate about. and yet I feel persicuted on all sides, from my family from my friends, I've been acused of pretention and of mocking other peoples tastes - things I've worked hard to avoid, I've been laughed at, eyes rolled at me, I've been not taken seriously. I feel isolated again, maybe even more so than at pratt, because at least there I knew better enough than to play anything for anyone. Here I thought people would be cooler with the stuff I like and it set me up for getting shut down much more often.

the worst part is I've been acused of not genuanly liking the music I listen to. it happened once back in new york and then again today, by someone I respect. "I mean, be honest, you don't actually like that stuff". that hurts the most, and on a base level.

and the problem is, I didn't even think my tastes are that far out, at least not much farther than at any other time to explain this suden jump in persecution. I mean, last summer I was in a blissful shock and awe over Sunn 0))), and noone seemed to get on my case. This summer I listen to dance music and loads of The National and some alternitive hip hop.

so let me level. I LIKE THIS STUFF. saying otherwise would be dishonest. its not work for me, its what I love, and if I have to hide it in order to contiue listening to it I will. I'm sorry if it sounds crappy to you but I really truly wish you would shrug it off and think "I probably just don't get it" and to each his own and all that like I've been doing with you and your music. This is killing me.

never die

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