for the last four or five days I have hated myself. Because I am an asshole when I am with people. And its through making the joking remarks I always make and laughing about them but somehow without me noticeing they have become asshole remarks. These are because I do resent most of my friends and all of my family and this shity house and I do want to go back to new york. And this resentment makes me into an asshole. And worse then that for the last four days I know I am being an asshole wile it is going on but I don't stop and its killing me. I didn't mean for this to happen. And I don't see the solution right now but I do hate myself for it.
just know that I am trying.
you have to be