Poor Places

Let me explain myself here.

it probably won't be that good of an explaination.

I know what I'm doing is wrong, I know it's stupid. I know it will end poorly. I know that I don't know what I want, and I know right now it just looks like I want what I can't have. I know I'm insatiable, almost as a rule. I know I'm too self aware to be this self-destructive. I know I'm too premeditated to be this impulsive. I don't care.

I'm starting to think that in love it doesn't pay to be responsible. It doesn't pay to be strong and to stoic and responsible. Whats "right" is not what's right. And I don't see how me sitting down and being lonely and waitng for it to pass is going to make for a better result than me trying to fuck everything up. This way seems better.

And besides, I can never be impulsive. I have never been impulsive. I think about things too much and there's nothing I can do about that.