13.3.11

I Walked

remember middle school? When we all realized how awful the pack system was? When individuality was the biggest goal, to swim upstream, to be true to yourself. when not caring about what anyone thought was the ultimate goal? and everyone else was against us. And suddenly we go to art school and film school and when all the people who always thought this are together we all become little socialists. we become so concerned with relating to other people, with avoiding pretentiousness and being down to earth and on level with the masses. So fuck it. If this is pretentiousness than I am pretentious. Because I like what I like and don't like what I don't like. Because I don't take how manny people like something into account. I still hate the structure of social interactions, the politics, the game. I still hate people as much as ever. I know I can't relate to anyone anymore. I can't find anyway to relate to anyone anymore. I still just want to be myself. and unfortunately I am still an outsider for it. and don't ever be mistaken, there is nothing glamourous or cool or fun about being an outsider.

that it's me, it's my fault

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