No Pussy Blues

yesterday, or maybe the day before, or maybe the day before that. It could have been anytime really... I couldn't sleep but I was really trying but I had this song lyric that shot into my head and I opened my eyes to find they had ajusted enough so I could see what I was writing just by the pail light that came from the street lamps coming in through the crack between the end of my curtain and the end of the window. and in a daze I stumble for a pen and my notebook and I scribble it down and then I stop dead. The light glansing off the edge of the paper and spilling on to my hand as if it was water was... it was the most beautiful thing I've seen in a long time. and I just sit there. and I look at it. and I look and my camera it just out of arms reach. and it has no film in it anyway. and there was not enough light to begin with. and if I used the flash it would ruin it all. so that meant the moment I moved my hand or my body this would be gone. I will be the only one who ever sees this. and the once I moved I would never see it again. and I liked that somehow. and I sat there for a half hour staring at the edge of the paper and my hand holding it. and then I got up to get a glass of water. and no one will ever see that again.

that I must above all things love myself/that I must above all things love myself/that I must above all things love myself