Spoonful Weighs a Ton

I need recording equipment. Because right now I'm not capable of writing songs. no thats not true but when I do put down songs they end up as light elliott smith and nick drake mixed with the national stuff. and I scrap it before the song is half way finished. not that theres anything wrong with that but its not what I feel. I sit down with my guitar and what comes out is feed back and distortion and noise and anger and its all just flowing from my fingers but i stand up and its gone from me. how can I make that into a song? i cant go to johns because I don't know if I could replicate it in front of anyone. i need to be able to commit that to tape in my garage when it comes so i can hear it later and do something with it

being drunk on their plan, they lifted up the son