Got To Get You Into My Life

I'm...

um...

18. 

I'll get back to you on how I feel about that.

ooh, did i tell you i need you/every single day of my life?

Biblical Violence

I'm told I have a distinct walk. Not that its a compliment or anything, most people have distinct walks, I sometimes think I could pick out silloettes of my friends just based on their walks. But ever since I was told that I have been trying to notice how I walk. But I can't. Because everytime FUCK YOU STEREO RECIEVER because everytime I try to pay attention to it I start walking differently. The moment I start to notice how I walk I cant do my walk anymore. Its one of thouse things I think you have to catch out of the corner of you eye, so to speak. To notice compleatly by accedant. There are a lot of things about ones self like that and it bugs the hell out of me. 

I've been digging this site for a few weeks now: http://butdoesitfloat.com/. I think its been up for about a month with new posts showcasing a different artist almost every day. Amazing stuff.

That shit sounds like a drum kit being thrown down the stairs

The Past Is A Grotesque Animal

If it seems like I hate you it is because I hate you. I HATE YOU I hate you and I want you dead. I'm just getting this feeling that everyone has let me down. And that statement sucks because it makes it seem as if I hold my self up high and think evryone else has not lived up to my level but thats not how I ment the statement to read. I don't mean to sound like I think of myself as supirior. I don't. thats not compleatly true. I am an arogent prick. I do think I am better then most people. But I don't think I am better then these who have let me down. You have let me down. ethan has let me down. parker has let me down. Travis who I don't even fucking know has let me down. My mom has let me down. Both my sisters as well. If I am honest I truly hate Joy. And I want you to be dead. And I can't fucking sleep.

throw it all at my face i don't care

Ice Monster

Hissing Fauna Are You The Destroyer? Where dose that take me? Last May in the bart train with Adrian "Ana says of Montreal aren't psychedelic, but they totally are!" and Travis "Maybe I'll just run away to Athens Georgia and join the Elephant Six collective" and I didn't know what the elephant 6 was. Me and Ethan walking off of Telegraph Ave. him explaining to me in one of those wide eye'd 'I cant put to words how much this music means and how much it means' how The Past Is A Grotesque Animal was a man hating himself because of how stuck he was in intense love for his wife "its embarrassing to need someone like I need you". Something I herd Maxine say to Parker or someone told me she said in early september "I can't listen to of Montreal anymore because your not here". Walking up seventh ave into Chelsey looking for a photo specialty shop listening to the Ethan curated Strawberry Jam/one song Poison Control Center/A brief introduction to of Montreal cd going away present that typified my early week and two in the city here The Past Is... and clutching on to the ''things could be different but their not!". But that was nine months ago when I was a different person. In the first few month when I was so fucking small and scared and lying to myself and everyone at home and despaired about the girl. Stuart as Strawberry Jam/of Montreal introduction period. And now I at the peak of my arrogance I-don't-give-a-shit fueled super confidence everything I was not with Strawberry Jam instead being in full swing Stuart as Experimental/Noise/Brit Pop/burn the past/bitterness/insomnia/"I hope you die, I HOPE WE BOTH DIE" period. and I finally bite my fucking tongue and let go my doubts and buy Are You The Destroyer an even year after my friends jumped into it because I found it for two dollars on a record label garage sale. and its everything. and this time I clutch on to instead "we want our films to be beautiful, not realistic" "Let's just have some fun

Let's tear this shit apart

Let's tear the fucking house apart

Let's tear our fucking bodies apart

but Let's just have some fun"

...let's And if anything its made me hate Barnes more. His hedonistic over grandiose self indulgent self important white horse bull shit as he threw momentum all away on the next record. I lost that going away present cd in november and I don't know where Animal Collective now stands in my mind. I have not talked to Ethan in Months. I don't remember the last time I was in Chelsey. and don't get me started about the girl. but some how this is mine again. Its embarrassing to need someone like...

[this has also been posted at styrofoam boots but I thought it deserved to be here as well]

we all know that you've come home to fall

Everything In It's Right Place

I listened to a lot of Cat Power today. And a lot of Young Marble Giants. And Yeah Yeah Yeahs. And The National. And I wrote this that sounds almost like none of them:

I've been thinking about you

Or I've been thinking about something

And God its so cheesey

Or like its too damn cliche

And I feel like I'd loose my cool

If I ever just come out and say it

I want you

I want you

God its just so hard to say

I want you

I Want you

I think I've been walking around

Or I've been thinking about something

And I've been shining like mad

And God don't leave me with nothing

And God don't leave me with nothing

And I've been taped to the walls 

And I want you

I want you

And I feel so broken

And I want you

I Want you

Have I been eating

Have I been asleep

Have I been dangling like coattails falling off of your sheets

Have I been talking this whole time

Did you have one thing to say

Did I have one thing to say

Have I been sleeping!

And I don't love you

Or I don't know

Or I don't know

But if you could hate me like I hate you like I hate you then just pick up and go

Why don't you leave me here and go

Why don't you leave me here to-

I want you

I want you

And I will not calm down

And you are so damn beautiful

And I Want you

what what was that you tried to say?

How Fucking Romantic

composed a little dity that I think I'll put infront of a lot a lot of distortion and feedback. perhaps I'll borrow a violin bow...

The lyrics are nothing to be proud about or anything but here they are:

The future it ain't looking bright

But I'll hold my head I know you're right

I will not laugh I will not cry

I'll try my best to kiss the sky

Don't know if I will catch your eye

but you know I'll try

and hell, I just might

if thats alright.

drag another cliche howling from the vaults

Run Into Flowers

as much as I love such great heights, and I really do love such great hights the postal services version even more then iron & wines, their best song will always be the track before it. the district sleeps alone tonight I guess is about a man out of place. across the country from home finding himself in dc house sitting. and he gets his instructions and he tells the friends visiting that no the owner isn't here and I'm just house sitting I'm just temporary but hes not paying antention to any of it at all becasue his mind is preocupied thinking about the floor beneath him and the soil of the district underneath and he think the only thing keeping him dry the only thing keeping him afloat from breaking down under the pressure of overwhelm of the new place so fucking out of context is where he is. is for the city and all its wonder. today it rained real hard and I was walking around the financial district because I realized how manny places I hadn't been and was still left to see and I found myself in battery park looking out standing on the coast of the hudson watching the ferrys and the sea floating up and down and the small round waves crash against the shore and the buildings in brooklyn and over there right in front of me was the statue of liberty getting blanketed like the rest of us by the fog and the rain. and I am getting soaked to death but I'm not paying attention becasue it seemed so out of context and I was here and there are so manny people and I still don't know one of them but this is my city and it is always here and even though I was so fucking wet I felt the only thing keeping me dry is where I am.

give the boys some chemicals
i want to run with you